Okay, Someone Talk Me Off The Roof

Well now I am depressed. I mean the anxious kind of depression that hurts my heart. I just found out that the boys of Geek Fallout did a podcast episode without me. I wasn't even informed about it. Was I excluded for a reason? I am not entertaining enough to have discussions with? Do I interrupt to much? Do all my opinions suck? What hurts the most is that this particular episode was all about movie trailers and who knows more about movie trailers than I do?

It's so incredibly hard to listen to the podcast if I am not a part of it. There is one this Tuesday that I have committed to so it's their own fault for letting me know about it and not being honest with me if they didn't want me to contribute. I am always available and frankly I think I contribute much to the discussion. But what do I know? There is a reason why I have no real friends. They have to talk to me face to face and that must be a very unpleasant thing to not be able to just shut me off when I start to talk.

I can't be mad at them. It's their podcast and they can include anyone they want. Since when am I the Prince of Cat? Since FOREVER, that's how long. Gah, this will bug me all day. I so want tomorrow to be the last one I ever do. I was doing okay here at the Cave of Cool on my own before the invitation to podcast came along.

It also hurts that the guy running the podcast, Erik, didn't feel the need to include me. I thought he and I were tight. I mean 'fighting against the Nazi menace together' kind of tight.

Oh well, it's not the first time nor will it be the last time that I was excluded from something but I thought with this thing that I was really a good fit...a good ADD...a good GET.

So now I will do what I always do when I feel like this. I will squeeze my bitterness and resentment into a tight little ball and leave it deep down in the pit of my stomach where all such things exist.

Damn that's good writing.